When it comes to strip clubs and other forms of adult entertainment, the question of appropriateness and morality is likely to differ based on who you ask. But how far is too far, really? For some, the strip club- or what it represents- is nothing more than an opportunity to engage in sexual playfulness and a little harmless fun. Those on the other end of the spectrum, however, may look beyond the entertainment aspect, focusing on the possible negatives one can derive from existing in these spaces.

We reached out to a group of women and men from different age groups, different walks of life and with views ranging from conservative to liberal and in-between, for their thoughts on the strip club.

Names have been changed to protect the identities of our participants*

WHAT THE WOMEN HAD TO SAY:

I’ve never been to the strip club. It’s not something that I’m interested in. Now, I have absolutely no disrespect for the women that work there – most of them are just doing what they need to in order to survive. But I absolutely would not be okay with my man going because I don’t think men and women have the same attitude towards sex work. In my experience, a man that frequents strip clubs or is interested in going to them usually lacks respect for sex workers, views them as commodities basically. The culture among men when it comes to strippers and sex work reeks of toxicity so I’d rather not be a part of any man that’s into that.

-Renata, 28

I personally am neither here nor there about it, to be honest. It won’t be the first place I choose to go but at the same time I am not totally against going to a strip club. No, I’ve never been. But if, let’s say my boyfriend wanted to go? I would be open to going, just for the experience. Not like we will be participating in any vulgar way. But who knows? The thrill of going together may inspire our own fun once we get home.

-Jenelle, 25

My thoughts? On me going or people going? I don’t condone anything like that because of my personal belief. I don’t see that as anything entertaining at all. I feel people’s bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and it is not to be an object of public…what is the correct word? An object for public pleasure.

Antoinette, 58

Modern feminism has us thinking everything is okay but most women who go to the strip club with their men, I think do it in some secret hopes of pleasing him, or to be seen as ‘cool’. If she is honest with herself, she doesn’t want to be there. I don’t want to be at the strip club. The design of a strip club is to benefit men, at the expense of women. Sex workers are not compensated properly for the risks they are exposed to- safety included. So no- strip clubs are a no for me.

Maria, 42

Call me insecure, I don’t care. You are not going to no strip club. Not with me and damn sure not without me. Why you want to see hoes shaking their ass in your face? If my man were to go to the strip club on his own I would consider it cheating, honestly. Plus I think I would imagine him fantasizing over these women and my mind may wonder, during our own private moments, if he is imagining those women when we are intimate. I say don’t go looking for trouble if there is none. But my man know I mad so he wouldn’t even bother to approach me with that for me to lash him.

Khadijah, 31

My now husband had his bachelor party at a strip club. I knew beforehand and was fine with it. We set boundaries before going and I appreciated him being upfront about it and not hiding. We’ve been married going on six years and he’s never been to another- at least that I know of. It’s really not that serious, I think the majority of people just go to strip clubs to lime, or just to say they went.

Liz, 38

We have to be willing to draw the line at some point. I’m currently single and have no desire to visit the strip club. To each their own but to me it’s immoral and invites spirits into your life. The bible says to guard your heart from even the appearance of evil. When I date I am looking for a husband, not just someone to spend my time with. And my personal views are sex is meant to be enjoyed by a man and woman within the net of a marriage. So I would need him to have similar views related to these things for the building of a peaceful home. That’s just me.

Tamika, 36

I don’t consider myself to be a prude but strip clubs just never interested me. Would I care if my partner went? Not really, to be honest, I don’t think so. But like with everything it should be something you’re honest about. I’d probably be more concerned if it’s something I find out rather than you tell me. And then, if it’s a frequent thing, like an addiction, then I would say that’s a red flag to take note of.

Evelyn, 30

I’ve been to one locally, terrible experience because I was expecting it to be like the ones I see in America. My man has no reason to go to such a terrible strip club. They weren’t even dancing, they just got naked it was a whole mess. However, if it were one of the ones I see on the internet in Atlanta and stuff I feel like I won’t mind if he goes once or twice. Just to go for the vibe. It can’t be your go to place when you want to have fun with your friends. Like what’s even the reason?

Vanessa, 29

My husband and I have done it before, while we were still dating- it was my idea though not his. He tried to act cool when I proposed it but I know it turned him on. That night we came home and had the nastiest sex ever. Too much info? My thing is this, if a man is going to cheat, it could be a woman with a diamond thong in heels or some regular-degular plain Jane in the cubicle next to him on work. You can’t prevent a horn if someone wants to do that. At the end of the day it’s about trust.

Lystra, 35

WHAT THE MEN HAD TO SAY:

I do enough rudeness in my days. At my age what turns me on is a woman taking the time to make a good meal. Making sure the sheets washed and the house clean. It have no shape of vagina I never see, or breast. That’s for those young fellas coming up now.

Dave, 54

I never was too interested in those things, nah. You would hear men broken and boasting about spending a $300 on a Vene. I find that sad. I can’t love vice more than money.

Samuel, 31

I would go to a strip club and I have been, yes. But I guarantee you I not looking for no wife in there.

Leon, 35

Well I wouldn’t suggest going if you’re now getting into a relationship or in one, I have never been to a club like that. I got an offer one time to work at the (#5club) it’s a combination of bisexuals, gays and straight. If I’m ok with my significant getting seed bags in her face, hell no! Example, if I’m willing to let her go she’ll have to go with family members.

D’shaun-25

I not paying for anything I can get free, talk done.

Phillip, 32

I think sometimes females look too deep into things. How does me going to the strip club mean I am cheating on you? It’s literally random women. Should I not watch porn then? Better yet, should you not watch porn? I would ask the women that.

Johnathan, 26

The long and short of it, is that it is a vice. We as men have to be more honest with ourselves. I won’t say I’m a spiritual person, but I like to question things. And many ways women are disrespected are because men create an audience for it. Strip clubs would not be in business if we didn’t fund it. It’s a vice, plain and simple.

Kieron, 49

Trinidad doesn’t really have strip clubs. Well not that I know of. I’ve been to hoe houses though. And well… It’s cool, does be fun. A strip club, yeah I’d be okay with my significant other going. Too far would probably be sex. I’m okay with lap dances and stuff

Shedrack, 27